Once Upon a Time

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Happy Feet


"You'll have to talk to your mother about wearing that grey sweater while pregnant."

Emma's brow furrowed. "Uhm...why?"

"She looks like that penguin from that movie Henry liked when he was a child. What was it called...Happy Feet."

"Well, that's ridiculous, she doesn't look like- oh, crap, you're right."

Regina smirked at her realization.

"Anyway, if you want to tell her that she looks like a penguin, be my guest, I'm not doing it," Emma said even though Regina's face told her that she'll have to at some point. "Do you think we can make her tap dance?"

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The Whisper


"Stop looking at me like that," she said, her voice soft and profoundly sad.

"Like what?" Emma replied, but Regina already turned her back to her, her hand reaching up to move the curtain and peek out of the window. Emma wondered what was she seeing there in the pitch black darkness. They were both tired, their energy gone. They've really hit the bottom this time.

"Like I'm your everything," she finally answered, startling Emma with merely a whisper.

"Regina, I-" she started once she found her voice.

"Please, don't." Regina interrupted her and then walked out of the room.

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The Issue


"Oh, not the two of you!" Granny exclaimed the moment she saw them sitting together at the bar.

"Is there a problem?" Emma asked.

"Is there a problem," Granny repeated wryly. "Well, there isn't when it's just Regina brooding over her coffee while everyone avoids her. Or when you drink cocoa and read. But the two of you..."

"What exactly is your issue?" Regina inquired.

"Sooner or later you start doing shots. Then she's going to leer at you. You're going to throw a fireball. I'm going to catch *you* making out in *my* storage closet. Go to Rabbit Hole."

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The Price of Being a Princess


"You know, when we first met, I thought 'damn, she's first class and I'm Greyhound'. And look at us now. I'm a princess and you-"

"I'm still the queen," Regina cut her off. She tried to readjust her skirts. "And I still hate this world."

"It's your world," Emma raised one eyebrow. Regina scoffed, still struggling with her skirts.

"Doesn't mean I have to like it. Ballgowns. What a horrible idea."

"I like mine. I look like a princess."

"Have you tried walking in it yet, princess?"

"That cannot be-" Emma took two steps. "Damn...we need to get home."

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The Unexpected Ending


It was incredible how quickly what should have been her victory turned sour. Every day the same. Everyone suffered indeed. Including herself. It was definitely Rumplestiltskin's fault, he gave her this curse. Well, there was nothing to do now, but to suffer through twenty-seven more years of it.

Thirty-three years have passed. Technically, she lost. Technically, Emma came to Storybrooke to break the curse and cause her demise. But Emma was never the one for technicalities. And the storybook's ending wasn't always what one would've thought it to be. Regina's hands shook as she slipped the ring on Emma's finger.

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The Bump


Sometimes Emma still had the nightmares. In them, she was touching her baby bump. She could feel the pitying looks her cellmates gave her. When they've found out that the baby's father was gone. Or that she was giving it up for adoption. Or that she was only seventeen.

Each time she would wake up crying.

Years passed and they became rarer with every one of them. She hoped that maybe one day, she would forget it altogether.

At least up to the day when she opened the door and there was this kid.

"My name's Henry. I'm your son."

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My Mom Knows How to Do That


"Can't you just ever call? Do I always have to run to wherever you're currently lurking?" Emma asked as she entered.

"I don't 'lurk'," Regina replied without turning her attention to Emma.

"Regina, we're literary in a crypt as we speak."

Regina turned a pointed gaze in her direction. "Well, it's hard to stare you down over the phone."

"As if that ever helped you with anything. Also, videocalls?"

"I'm too old to use those."

"You are in your thirties."

"I've been in my thirties your whole life."

"Well, my mother knows how to use them."

"So...videocalls you said?"

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Adventures in Co-parenting


"I hate dealing with teenagers." Emma stormed into Regina's office.

"What is it now? Earbuds in when you're talking to him? Dirty socks lying around? Don't touch those socks, by the way."

"How are you so calm?"

"I told him that if he gets good grades and keeps his room in my house clean, I'll buy him a car," Regina smirked.

"You couldn't have extended it to my house too?"

"You need to figure that out for yourself."

"I'm buying him a motorcycle," she turned to leave. Clicking heels followed her.

"No, you're not. Emma! Stop being such a child!"

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Redeeming Qualities


"Hard day in the office?" Ruby asked Emma's head which was resting on the counter.

"You have no idea," the pile of blonde hair in front of her said.

"Madam Mayor?"

Emma raised her head. "How can anyone that bitchy be this pretty, anyway?"

"Gurrrrrl, I've been wondering about that for years myself. It's because it's her only redeeming quality."

"Well, at least some people here have more than one," Emma said. "Do you want to go for drinks later?"

"Only if you dance with me once we're sufficiently drunk."

"Ruby, in those shorts, I'd even dance with you sober."

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A Personal Motto Needed


"I think it's time for us to have our own motto," said Emma one morning.

"What do you mean?" Regina's eyes didn't leave the newspaper she read while drinking her coffee.

"My parents have that 'I'll find you' thing, Rumple and Belle have that chipped teacup."

Regina looked at her expectantly.

"Like a picture! A swan with a crown!"

"That's ridiculous."

"No, it's perfect, the swan for me, the crown for you..."

"That reminds me of the Swan Lake."

"Of what?"

"Tchaikovsky. Ballet."

"Dunno. But I've read somewhere only queens are allowed to eat swans."

Regina choked on her coffee.

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...Is The One Who Is Sleeping


She was looking at the still form on the hospital bed in front of her. How many realms they crossed, how many curses they stopped, yet, there was one thing magic couldn’t possibly do. It couldn’t kill coma caused by your Mercedes hugging a tree.
She took Regina’s pale hand in her own. “You know, Regina. This is not funny anymore.”
No answer, for many days now.
“I really need you to wake up. There’s so much I’ve never told you.” Swallowing hard, she blinked away her tears. She let go of her hand and turned to leave. Maybe tomorrow.

Závěrečná poznámka: 

Nějak se mi to hodilo provázat...

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The Last Hero You'd Have Expected...


Emma was the one who they called the Savior, the hero. Therefore it was a surprise to everyone when the actual hero turned out to be the last person they would have expected – Regina. Granted, she was the one who had gotten them into that mess in the first place, but still, in the end, she saved everyone. Although it was Emma’s help that made them strong enough to stop the impending doom, which was suspicious considering the rules of magic powerful enough to pull that off, ultimately, Regina was the hero.
‘Which makes this even more unfair,’ Emma thought.

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No More Running


Sometimes Emma felt like running away. Not like that ever worked out well - when she first hit the road, she ended up pregnant and in prison by the time she was seventeen. She learned nothing, she was back to her nomadic existence the minute she was done with her probation.

Regina was right that time she told her the number of addresses she had in just ten years. Now her body might have been in Storybrooke, but in her mind she still ran, unable to accept the simple truth. That this town, these people, were her family. No more running.

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Coming Clean


“You know, your mother maybe acts like she has no idea how much three times three is, but she is smarter than she looks,” Regina said, reapplying her lipstick.
“What do you mean?” asked Emma while fastening her jeans.
“That she’ll find out the truth about these ‘magic lessons’ and it’s going to be unpleasant.”
“What do you propose we do about it?”
“I think we should come clean.”
Emma shrugged. “Okay, I’ll tell her.”
“Maybe I should go with you.”
“You just want to see her face when I tell her.”
Regina smirked. “I’m not going to deny that.”

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When Mirror Is Just a Mirror

Úvodní poznámka: 

Někdy kolem "New York City Serenade".


Regina Mills looked at the mirror on the wall, the silent witness of her misgivings. Years ago, in another realm, it wasn’t that silent, it held the genie who cursed himself to be forever trapped to look at her face, in every looking glass and at the same time, becoming her way to see into everyone’s life.
But not anymore. Now mirror is just a mirror, she thought bitterly, finishing another glass of wine while watching her reflection. No matter how hard she tried, it was all that she could see. No Henry. No Emma. She needed her family back.

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The Poker Night

Úvodní poznámka: 

Nečekali jste přeci, že letos začnu psát jiný fandom? Zasazeno do 1. řady.


“All in,” said Emma and pushed all of her chips towards the pile in the middle of the table.
“Are you sure that’s wise?” Mary Margaret looked worried.
“Relax, mom,” Emma said sarcastically, remembering the crazy notion Henry had about her roommate. “Besides, if I lose, maybe I’ll get lucky in love.”
“Pray tell us with whom do you hope to get lucky?” Ruby pulled a lollipop out of her mouth.
“Well, not you.”
“You wish,” smirked Ruby.
“Maybe a certain sheriff?” Mary tried to steer the conversation.
“More like his girlfriend.”
“Shut up, Ruby,” replied Emma, her face red.

Obrázek uživatele Lyta

The Circle of Magic

Úvodní poznámka: 

Náhrada za DMD č. 2. pro 2. 4. 2017. Téma: Neruš moje kruhy


Emma found herself sitting on the floor with Regina, holding her hands as she was supposed to focus on a spell while she'd watch Regina's face instead.

"Stop peeking. You are disturbing the circle."

"I'm not peeking," she shut her eyes.

"Yes, you are," sighed Regina, letting go of her hands, getting up. "Seriously, Emma, do you want to learn magic or do you want to play peek-a-boo?"

"It depends, is it clothed peek-a-boo?" she did not just say that? "I'd say that the truth spell is working anyway, huh?"

"I suppose. And no, definitely not clothed. And not peek-a-boo."

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Nejvíc nejlepšejší práce


'Žil byl jeden Klingon. Ale nebyl to obyčejný Klingon, byl to ten nejčestnější Klingon v celé Klingonské říši. Neživil se ale jako válečník. Tenhle Klingon byl totiž popelář. Jezdil se svým popelářským vozem a dával do něj odpadky, které bylo třeba recyklovat. Jeho práce ho bavila, protože jezdit s popelářským vozem byla nejlepšejší práce. Někdy jezdil rychle a jindy pomalu. Když jel pomalu, díval se z okna na domy a stromy a ostatní Klingony. Když jel rychle, odpadky vzadu ve voze jen lítaly.'

Regina odložila papír popsaný dětským písmem. Henryho už by neměla nechat koukat na Star Trek. A popeláře.

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Challenging Evening


"What a pleasant social experience," Regina said sarcastically as they entered the mansion.

"Well, I think your face said it all. I swear I was afraid that your eyes are going to get stuck at the upwards position."

"It's not my fault that your mother doesn't have the most intellectually challenging conversation topics and your father's actually intellectually challenged."

"Careful, those are my parents you are talking about. Am I bringing up that your mother was a psycho?"

"Who was then murdered by my step-daughter/mother-in-law."

"Not this conversation again," Emma rolled her eyes.

"Careful. Your eyes may get stuck."

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In the End


"The final battle is over, what we are going to do with our lives now?" Regina asked, standing in the forest that until recently used to be Storybrooke.

"No idea. Did you expect to find yourself in this world?" Emma asked.

"I did not expect to be alive in the end."

"Well, I was thinking about a tropical vacation? Warm beach, not a care in the world?"

"Sounds great. I've never been to a place like that."

"Your honeymoon plans are great, moms, but I have no high school to go to and only two years until college," quipped Henry.

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The Circle


"It's a viscous circle, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Every few months we are consumed by this or that curse and we are back at square one."

"I think you are right."

"It's rather tiring, isn't it?"

"It's like the writers do not know what else to do with us."

"Or perhaps they are afraid that we could end it?"


"By kissing each other?"

"But Emma, that would be gay and we are an ABC family show."

"We have a son, how is us kissing each other not a family?"

"Because two women kissing is not family friendly?"

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Higher Education


"Regina, you would not believe it. I were at Granny's and there was granny with a biology textbook."

"I find that picture believable."

"You are not going to ask why she has it?"

"To learn about biology?"

"She's planning to graduate from highschool and go to college."

"One is never too old to catch up on education."

"Well, not all of us have curse given university degrees."

"The town has a program for higher education of our law enforcement employees."

"Maybe I should join granny and graduate from high school."

"You may do it just in time for Henry's graduation."

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Wrong Book


"I was looking at the books you gave me, but only one was not in runes, so I read that one."

"You were supposed to learn the runes."

"I didn't have the time, so I read the one in English."

"There was no book in English."

"Yes, there was, it had a list of dragons, ghouls, unicorns, some stuff on trolls. So whatever creature we meet, I am ready."

"Emma, there was no book on...Wait. Was that book by any chance called 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them'?"

"I think so."

"Congratulations. You've studied Henry's Harry Potter book."

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Hard Choices


"What about this dress?" asked Snow. "It's beautiful."
"It's like from a fairy-tale," Regina disapproved.
"I already had a fairy-tale wedding. Not interested in another one. Also, I am way past the white princess dress anyway."
"What about this dress? It's nice."
"I always admired your lack of taste."
"So what are we looking for and don't tell me a cream pantsuit, you are not marrying my daughter in a pantsuit."
"Relax. I want a simple dress. Besides, knowing Emma, she's probably going to wear jeggings and leather jacket and make it look dressy by stealing my silk blouse."

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Fighting with Fire


"I've already started fire with magic before, why are we doing this?" Emma complained.

"Because you are still unfocused. You yourself said that you had trouble starting the fire without my assistance."

"That was a year ago."

"So lighting the candle should be easy, right? Much quicker than arguing about it."

"Yoda pales compared to your level of bitchiness as a trainer."

"Light the candle, Emma."

"Yeah, lighting up candles, that would be useful skill at fight."

"Candles are just a beginning. Fireballs are when the fun starts."

"I knew we'd get back to you liking fireballs way too much."

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Easter Bunny


"Now what kind of daubing is this?" Regina asked upon arriving to the crime scene of the latest graffiti in Storybrooke while handing Emma her coffee.
"Frankly no idea. Do you have some bear claws to go with this?"
"Sorry, Easter special at Granny's. Hot cross buns."
"Was Ruby dressed as Easter bunny?"
"Nope. She was dressed as a playboy bunny."
"Yes. I very much approved."
"Regina, that's rather gay."
"And? You wear plaid and am I calling you gay?"
"Now I'm surprised you even know that word."
"And I'm surprised you know what a playboy bunny is."

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That Time Emma and Regina Wanted to Go for Drinks

Úvodní poznámka: 

Náhrada za téma č. 13. pro 13. 4. 2017. Téma: Mozkobouření


"I need a break. Do you want to go out for drinks?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Rabbit Hole?"

"That's a dive bar."

"I'm not picky."

"But who's going to watch Henry?"

"My parents?"

"Do you want to talk about the time he was abducted from their care or the time they taught him to drive?"


"Well, do you want to leave him with his other grandfather, aka the Dark One?"


"Quiet, Henry, me and your mother are brainstorming ideas."

"I'm fourteen. I think I could stay here on my own."

"I think the kid is right."

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Plan B

Úvodní poznámka: 

Neverland, angst.


"Wait, where are you going?" Emma shouted as she ran after Regina through the jungle.

"Away, from you, your family and that pirate and to save my son." Regina answered without turning around.

"He's my son too!"

Regina stopped and turned around. "No, he is not. You lost that right when you gave him up. For all I know we're here only because you were too cheap to buy Plan B."

"That's not true!" She felt the rage surging through her as she held Regina's gaze.

"You know what, Regina? Do whatever you want," she stormed off, leaving Regina behind.

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"I have a headache," Emma said dramatically upon entering Regina's study.

"Take an aspirin."

"You aren't going to ask what's causing my headache?"

"I'm busy and if it was serious, you'd be in your bed. Besides, you're probably telling me anyway."

"I thought about the first time we met."


"I thought about all the first times we met."

"My favorite was throwing you in the dungeon."

"All those memories are confusing. Is there a way to get rid of them?"

"You do not like the memory of me throwing you into dungeon?"

"Well...maybe I can live with that."

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The Dowry


"Shouldn't I get some dowry from your parents?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're pretty much everywhere I turn. It's as if we're practically married and therefore I think I'm entitled to a dowry."

"I never took you for old fashioned, Regina. Also, in that case, I should get some sort of dowry as well."

"Don't be ridiculous. I am queen. You're a princess. Your parents owe me."

"Technically, don't you owe my father dowry for my mother as her step-parent?"

"Hey, I gave them the kingdom."

"They had to get the kingdom back in a war."

"I let them win."


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