Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Garak was smiling, which in Julian's experience meant his mind was elsewhere. When Julian sat down opposite him, something in his eyes shifted.

"Julian! I have a question about that delightful novel you lent me."

"Yes?" Julian leaned forward.

"The term mental gymnastics. There seems to be no Cardassian equivalent."

"Oh." Julian thought for a moment. "I suppose it... describes creatively flexible thinking. Or the process by which one might arrive at a desired conclusion by manipulating the available facts."

Garak nodded, slowly.

"Cardassian doesn't have a term for that?"

"It does, actually." Garak's smile shifted. "We call it thinking."

"Garak. No."

"But think of the advantages."

"Please explain the advantages to me."

"Well, for one," Garak sipped his tea thoughtfully, "it would be quite cheap to fill the entire station. And quick!"

"Yes," Julian said through clenched teeth, "that's the point."

"You must admit they are much less messy than those other creatures - what did you call them?"

"Bunnies. And they are traditional."

Garak clicked his tongue. "Traditional. Honestly, it's an enlightened century. Besides, from what I've read, they reproduce rather quickly, too."

"Garak," Julian exploded, turning heads around their table, "we are NOT using tribbles as Easter decorations!"

"So." Jadzia leaned across the table. "Tell me everything."

"Tell you what?" Julian shifted in his seat, his mug steaming nervously.

"You know." She raised an eyebrow. "Everything! I've never dated a Cardassian." She narrowed her eyes, "not a male Cardassian. That I remember."

"Jadzia, honestly." Julian sipped his tea. Just a plain tea, nothing fancy this time. Though he was beginning to wish he'd gone for coffee.

She smiled at him, all teeth. "You had sex!"

"Yes, well, I don't like to broadcast it."

"With Garak".

"Yes." His eyes flickered.

"Some say, they have a sort of proboscis-"

"Jadiza!!"