Jeeves

"Fox in the henhouse," said Barmy as I was about to leave.  

"Indeed," said I, hoping this would end the matter. 

"Fox," he repeated, winking. "Henhouse."

"Barmy," I said, "is this a time to accost me with poultry updates?" 

"Sir," Jeeves arrived invisibly, "I gather Mr. Fotheringay-Phipps is making an observation about the eligible young women currently residing at his estate, and his now being the only gentlemanly presence there." 

"Quite," said I, bidding Barmy farewell. We had a 9 o'clock to Euston, and Jeeves has a thing about trains, in that he prefers being on them before they depart. 

I watched in horror from the gallery. Rather soon-ish, it would occur to some entrepeneurial spirit to search the inside of the church, at which point I would be done for.

"Where could he be," sighed the bride's mother.

"It is difficult to say, ma'am."

"That louse!" The best man fumed. Breaking her heart"

"If I might make a suggestion?"

All turned to Jeeves.

"There is an ancient custom whereby the best man must marry the bride, should the groom not-"

The best man exclaimed his joyful shock, and I collapsed in relief. Jeeves! Would that I could marry him.

Ráno mne Jeeves vzbudil svým famózním šálkem čaje. Ach, dokázal bych se nad perfektností jeho čaje rozplývat den co den! Zatímco pouštěl do ložnice světlo, poreferoval mi o dnešním počasí. Pak mi vybral vhodný oděv pro dnešní den. Při oblékání jsem se rozhodl, že šedý oblek s jemným proužkem ozvláštním purpurovou kravatou, kterou jsem si potají koupil.

Když mě Jeeves znova spatřil, prohlédl si mě od hlavy k patě, ale nic neřekl.
Byl jsem zaskočen. Měl jsem už dobrý odhad na to, které kousky se Jeevesovi zamlouvat nebudou.
"Jeevesi, stárnete," prohodil jsem žertovně.
Jeeves se jen jeevesovsky pousmál. "Vskutku, pane."