Holly-woodn't

"Mr. President, California is threatening to secede. Again."
"Tell governor Schwarzenegger we will ban his movies, if they do."
"Even Conan?"
"Especially Conan."
"What about the situation in Iraq?"
"Tell them we're sorry, the wedding cake looked like kalashnikov!"
"I referred to the MORIA report, sir."
"Effing movie industry, bribe Jackson to go back to Zealand?"
"The agency, sir," vice-president Biden rubbed his forehead. "They indicate a possibility of a magical attack on US interests in the area."
"Get Jack Ryan on the line now."
"He is fictional, sir."
"Newt Scamander then?"
"He's British."
"So is tea and cookies."
"Actually..."