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"I think the first boy I liked... was Hugh. We were best friends for years. Then his family moved away..."
The man beside him nodded. They were still laying in bed, naked.
Victor knew he should go. But he couldn't. This was the first time he felt whole again.
"Was he your first kiss?"
Victor shook his head. "No."
He didn't want to think about Henry now. How the feeling of his lips was almost electric. How he smelled of sherry and expensive cigars.
Victor kissed him again, tracing his way down the stranger's body.
Trying. But unable to forget.

"Ten Šimon je taková buzna," Adam napůl zašeptal tak, aby to Šimon slyšel.
"Buzíku!" přidal se František. Kulička z flusačky skončila Šimonovi za krkem.
Učitel dál pokračoval ve výkladu.

"Vypadni!" ten rozkaz následovalo postrčení tak silné, že Šimon málem spadnul na zadek.
"Nebudeš na nás čumět, ty úchyláku!"
Šimon neměl do slz daleko. Ostatní se převlékali, jako by se nic nedělo.
Na fotbal už Šimon nikdy nešel.

"Buzerant," zasyčel neznámý muž a na Šimona plivl. Viděli ho, jak se loučí s přítelem. Byli na něho čtyři. Rány a kopance neustávaly. Okolo dál jezdily auta.
Šimon se už dneska domů nevrátí.

Seděly spolu na fialkové dece, rozložené na trávníku za Bradavickým hradem. Mezi nimi stál košík s jídlem a láhev s borůvkovým vínem. Luna měla navlněné vlasy, do kterých zapletla luční kvítí. Hermiona vypadala přesně tak, jako jindy. Až teď si začínala uvědomovat, že možná něco přehlédla.
"A pak najednou začaly pršet z nebe," řekla Luna. "Myslím, že jsem byla jediná, kdo si jich všiml."
Hermiona souhlasně pokývala.
"Jsi v pořádku?" zeptala se Luna a svou dlaň položila na hřbet Hermioniny ruky.
Ta zmateně zamrkala. Tohle bylo určitě rande.

Uplynula věčnost, než se usmála.
A hned poté se naklonila pro polibek.

He was standing on his tippy toes. His hands were tight together with a rope that was hanging on a hook in the ceiling. He was naked, coloured by bruises and red lashes. At a few places, his skin ruptured and he was bleeding.
A young man was kneeling by his side, licking off the blood on his stomach. The blood sparkled on his tongue. A bare-breasted woman was touching his penis. Her touch was like vibrations.

***

"Out!" Amalia burst in. Nobody moved. "Now!"
Penance showed them her new exploding gadget.
Suddenly they were alone.
"You owe us an explanation."

It was a long luxurious dinner at Emily's parents' house. Relatives of both Emily and Victor were invited. It seemed to Victor like everybody lost any sense of reason in that house. Every single conversation revolved around him and Emily having children. The sooner the better. Like wind up toys on repeat. Thankfully, Emily wasn't having it either. She decided though to stay there overnight.
He excused himself early because of work. But instead of going home, he wandered around the dark London alleys until he reached his destination. The house where he never had to think or reason either.

Bylo už dávno po večerce. Láhev Ohnivé whisky už byla poloprázdná, když dohráli karty s pohyblivými nemravnými obrázky.
Sirius oznámil, že nadešel hřeb večera. Doprostřed vysypal několik Bertíkových fazolek.
"Vylepšený," řekl. "Povedlo se mi do nich dostat pár lektvarů," zazubil se. Ostatní se po sobě nejistě podívali. Alkohol jim však rozhodování usnadnil.
"Tu čtvrtou zleva," ukázal Remus. Vzal si ji, rozkousal, polkl.
Horko ve tvářích se za chvíli rozšířilo jeho tělem a usadilo se níž, než by mu bylo milé.
"Ty šmej-" zasyčel a ohnal se po Siriusovi.
"Víš, že si předvídatelný?" ušklíbl se Sirius. "Byla to tvoje oblíbená barva."

A dark cloud was hovering over her head as she walked back to the dungeon.
That dick didn't even bother answering. Apparently, he really needed to get to class...
It was the first time Marianne was left speechless. She was beautiful, smart and she excelled in everything she did. She already knew he was in love with her. Everybody was. He just needed to admit it.

***

Conveniently, the potion classroom was empty. It took her just a few seconds to find everything she needed. She remembered the recipe. This, that, stir, pour it into a small bottle.
It was perfect.

"Střih!"
Hlas režiséra protnul to napjaté ticho, které během natáčení panovalo. Kameramani postupně zastavili nahrávání. Reflektory zhasly a mikrofon se odložil. Jimmymu a Tommymu chvíli trvalo, než se vrátili do reality. Vášnivý polibek následovalo objetí a ani poté se od sebe nedokázali odtrhnout.
Jimmy se usmál a palci Tommymu setřel slzy z tváří.
"Ty citlivko," zasmál se a Tommy se ušklíbl.
"Ty máš co říkat."

***

"Asi bych měl jít," řekl Jimmy. Od konce natáčení uplynul týden. Strávili spolu celý den a až do večera hráli Mario Kart.
"Nebo můžeš zůstat," navrhl nesměle Tommy. Nastalo ticho. A tentokrát je prolomil polibek.

"Eyelashes!" Sherlock shouted suddenly and sprang out of bed.
John mumbled something.
"Put some clothes on," Sherlock continued. "We need to go."
John finally opened his eyes after one of his sweaters hit him in the face.
"It's the middle of the night," he said when he realized how dark it was. "Come back to bed."
"We need to go to the morgue, John," Sherlock insisted. "There must have been some poison in her fake eyelashes! I must test them," he said before he ran out the door.
John took a deep breath and stood up.
Here we go again...

Basil was leaning against a trunk of a really old tree. Although his life up until now was indeed an unhappy one, Basil decided to change that. His stomach filled with butterflies when he imagined Dorian pushing him against that tree. In this case, there were no actual butterflies as the phrase was used figuratively. That means he felt like there were butterflies.
But as I said, his life was quite unhappy. Before he could express his feelings, Dorian told him he was in love with a woman and Basil's heart broke, figuratively, as he leaned back against the tree.

"I don't think I can give you what you need," Victor said, looking away.
Emily was quiet. What did she need? She reached her goal. She was a married woman now. What was next? Having children, raising them. Getting old in the process.
After hours of reflecting, she felt like there should be something more. The thought was terrifying. She willingly chained herself up to somebody and right now, she felt like she was suffocating. She needed to breathe.
"I think I need a job," she said. Victor looked at her, eyes wide. But then he smiled.
"Alright," he said.

Trying on somebody else's shoes was his job for years. Pretending to be confident, brave, straight...
Surprisingly, finding out he was a sensate and experiencing what other's go through every day, made him feel more like himself.
But it didn't give him the strength to show it.
And then he suddenly didn't have a choice. His career was ruined. He was ruined.
But Hernando still loved him.
"Mom..." he said finally. She didn't freak out. She never stopped loving him.
"I am a gay man!" he screamed into the Rio's Pride Parade. And that was when he felt truly alive.

It was late. Emily was sitting on a divan, reading a book. Victor was in his office. Working. And probably getting drunk.
This wasn't how Emily imagined their marriage. Living next to each other, rather than together. He rarely kissed her or touched her. On their wedding night, he got so drunk he just fell asleep. And he made no advances to her afterwards.
It felt like involuntary fasting. Like eating bread when you could have cake. She was starved for some affection. Angry. Sad. Disappointed.
But she was a woman. She couldn't make the first move. Or could she?!

"Aby uspěli, museli naše hrdinové projít magickým lesem."
Čtveřice dětí v kostýmech se objevila na pódiu.
"Strach neznali, když byl jejich kamarád v nebezpečí."
Hrdinové předstírali, že vyrazili do lesa. Skupinka dětí vpravo od pódia zašuměla jako listí. Pár dětí prasklo větvičky a jedna holčička zahoukala jako sova.
"Hrdinové postupovali odvážně vpřed, ale cítili, jak se v pozadí shromažďují temné síly-"
Petr vyjekl do mikrofonu, když mu Marek za oponou zmáčknul zadek.
"Ty máš taky silný pozadí," zašeptal a uculil se, když se ho Petr pokusil nakopnout.
"A co dál?" nakouklo jedno z dětí za oponu. Ale vypravěč tam chyběl.

Být zpět v Bradavicích a procházet těmi známými chodbami byl zvláštní pocit. Ukrývaly tolik dávno zapomenutých vzpomínek, které se najednou začínaly znovu probouzet.
Tam si Sirius rozbil koleno. Tady si James poprvé pořádně všimnul Lilly. Od té doby nemluvil o ničem jiném. A támhle, schovaní pod neviditelným pláštěm, který si Sirius "vypůjčil" od Jamese, jsme se s Tichošlápkem poprvé líbali. Opilí adrenalinem z toho, když jsme McGonagallové ukradli výsledky testů na zbytek semestru. V té době jsme se neustále dostávali do průšvihů.
Teď jsem tady byl sám. Zamrkal jsem, abych potlačil slzy. Bylo na čase si vytvořit nové nezapomenutelné vzpomínky.

It started with a heartbreak. No. It started when we left Briar. Back then I wished we could just run away together. But that wasn't in our cards.
The first heartbreak came when I had to watch Maud marry Gentleman. After that came several more. When I saw how he treated her. When I saw the bloody sheets. When I saw how Maud was slowly turning into an empty shell.
But that bitch was just acting. Now they are probably happy together wherever they ran with all that money.
I'm just trying to stay sane. But inside, I'm already dead.

Marry me, mmm
It was a beautiful sunny day. Marrianne was standing barefoot on the grass, watching the love of her life.
Cause I love you
"Draco!" she yelled and waved.
And you love me
Draco froze when he saw her. "Not again," he thought but it was too late to run.
"Hi, babe," she smiled, when she came closer. Her perfect white teeth blinded him.
And they say, "Keep your heart safe"
But I can't, I can't wait
"Draco, babe," she said. She reached into her pocket and knelt on one knee.
Won't you marry me, marry me today?

these are the reasons why you should marry me 4ever and ever. And better make it now or never because we'll graduate soon.
Firstly, I'm really pretty. Like young Angelina Jolie pretty before she had all those things done to her face. And your blond shiny hair is sooo sexy, so you'll be my dark prince and I'll be your princess.
I'm also very successful at school and really smart. My IQ is 220 btw.
And I'll love you unconditionally. Unless you get fat or something, obvi.
Maybe call me or send me an owl, baby.

With love,

your Marrianne

Victor was standing in the sitting room alone, looking out the window. It was getting dark outside and a butterfly with blue wings was sitting on the window sill.
Close, open, close, open.
It can fly away any second now.
That thought made Victor feel like he was suffocating. He wanted to catch the butterfly and crush it in his hand. He wanted to grow wings and fly away.
"Darling?" He heard Emily's sweet voice calling from the dining room. He realized he was clenching his fists. He smiled, leaving the room. Red nail marks stayed carved into his palms.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. Their group slowly fell apart. Eliot was the only one, who couldn't let go. He tried to bring him back. But failed. He asked Alice for help but she just said that Quentin had a good life and he sacrificed himself for what he believed in. That he had the right to be left alone. Forgotten.
But Eliot couldn't. And their story wasn't over. There had to be more.
He entered his bedroom and froze. There was a lone peach, sitting on his pillow. His eyes filled with tears.
"Q?" he whispered.

She used to love storms. She would listen to the rain and the rumbling while she was falling asleep or sit on the window sill, playing the guitar, while the weather was going crazy. But she hated storms now. Or at least this one. She hated that the weather was mirroring what was happening inside her right now.
"You'll see," she whispered. "We'll meet each other again in the next life. Before you even have the time to grow up." She smiled. Tears started streaming down her cheeks while she watched the love of her life leave her body forever.

"Get closer, please," said the man with a big dark moustache.
They both shifted towards each other. Emily looked gorgeous. She was wearing a beautiful lacy gown with a veil and orange flowers in the hair. She quickly fixed them.
"You look beautiful, sweetheart," shouted Emily's mother, standing behind the cameraman. Emily smiled for a second but then quickly corrected herself. She wanted the photo to turn out perfect. Just like their marriage.
She dreamed of this moment for years.
The camera was ready. Now they just had to stay still until the memories permanently engrave themselves into the glass.

"A jak jsem přišel z práce, tak jsem si udělal další kafe a pak-"
Spojení se přerušilo. Obličej kamarádky z obrazovky zmizel.
"Sakra," zamumlal a začal listovat kontakty v telefonu. Co takhle Matěj?
Vytočil číslo. To čekání se zdálo nekonečné.
"Čau, tak co, jak se máš?" vyhrkl. "Už jsme spolu zase dlouho nemluvili..." řekl, ale Matěj ho přerušil.
"Myslíš tím předevčírem?"
Nemohl ho teď vidět, ale z tónu Matějova hlasu to znělo, že při těch slovech kroutil hlavou.
"Nemáš ty bejt introvert? Seš teď furt nějakej ukecanej," dodal Matěj.
Zaklel. Nemohl si pomoct. Měl deficit. A vinil z toho pandemii.

Uplynul už nějaký čas od chvíle, kdy ho ta ježibaba unesla. Stihl si už pobrečet, zanadávat, dokonce i zalitovat toho, jak naznačil, že její matka je lama (I když pořád nevěděl, co na tom bylo špatného. Byla to pravda.).
Pokusil se vyrazit dveře. Místo toho si však málem vyhodil rameno. A tak si řekl, že
si počká. Však v pohádkách se vždycky objeví nějaký udatný princ. Určitě ho jeden takový zachrání.
A tak čekal.
A čekal.
A ještě čekal.
A pak se na to vybodl. Roztrhal povlečení, kusy svázal dohromady.
"Zatracení princové, zamumlal a vyhodil jednu stranu provazu z okna.

Byla tam větší tma, než jsem čekala. Najednou nás obklopovaly bílé skály a dva velké růžové balvany nám málem zatarasily cestu. Kromě nich jsme ale museli proletět i bránou, která se samovolně otevírala a zavírala. Pak jsme pokračovali úzkou trubicí až k našemu cíli. Velké kyselinové jezero. Levitovali jsme přímo nad ním a sledovali, jak pomalu požírá vše ve svém dosahu. Tady to někde muselo být.
Najednou se všechno začalo třást. Kyselina se začala přelévat po stěnách. Namočila dokonce i náš autobus. Museli jsme utéct, dokud jsme ještě mohli.
Mise nebyla úspěšná. Příště snad už zjistíme, proč Bena bolí žaludek.

Je noc. Sedím v koupelně na zemi. Ve čtyři už musím být na tréninku. Jen když na to pomyslím, stahuje se mi žaludek. Nebo je to možná proto, že jsem skoro nic nejedla. V hlavě si promítám, jak mě při minulém vážení zesměšnili, protože jsem nic nezhubla. Ale něco sníst musím, nemůžu na koncertě znovu omdlít.
Už jsem o tom přemýšlela asi milionkrát. Odejít. Vykašlat se na celou svou kariéru.
Ale nemůžu. Zadlužila bych sebe i svou rodinu. Nikdy bych to nesplatila. A jak bych si našla po té ostudě normální práci?
Možná bude lepší, když už se ráno neprobudím.

It all felt like a dream. Leaving my mother when I was still a child and losing my brother just days later. I was terrified when I was sitting in the boat. I didn't know when or if ever I'll see my family again. And then we arrived. They welcomed me with open arms and eventually became my new family. They taught me things I didn't know were possible. Mistresses of their art, many of them already had white hair. They devoted their lives to their religion. To our religion.
Today is my initiation. To finally become one of them.

"Mami, proč veverka nechce medicínku?" přiběhla Amálka s voláním do kuchyně.
"Ku-" vykřikla maminka a šla si zchladit popálenou ruku. "Cos říkala?"
"Že veverka nechce medicínku."
Maminka se na dcerku nedůvěřivě podívala. V další vteřině už letěla s Amálkou na zahradu s představou otrávených veverek. Naštěstí se horor nekonal. Nebo alespoň ne veverčí. Ze země zvedla platíčko s antikoncepcí.
"Kdes to proboha vzala?"
"Mělas je v kabelce."
"Prosím tě, řekni mi, žes to nesnědla."
Amálka zavrtěla hlavou.
"Proč je dáváš veverkám?"

"Příště už takovou pitomost nekoupím," pomyslela si maminka, když jí Amálka ukázala knížku o tom, jak veverky plánovaly miminko.

"Tak co, už máš přítelkyni?" ptá se babička pokaždé, když přijede na návštěvu.

"Syn od kolegyně se bude o víkendu ženit." maminka nenápadně zkouší nadhazovat podobné poznámky každý druhý týden.

"Kdybys viděl ty kozy..." neušetří si komentáře kolegové.

"No tak, nekecej! Musí se ti přece nějaká alespoň líbit!" naléhá kamarád.
"Co tě znám, tak o žádných ženských nemluvíš," přitakává druhý.
"Jestli chceš, tak ti pomůžu vytunit Tinder," pokračuje první. "Je to takový blbý, když jsme oba zadaní a ty pořád nic..."
Zatnu pěsti. Zhluboka se nadechnu. Třikrát jen na prázdno otevřu pusu, než konečně nasbírám odvahu.
"Jsem gay."
Následuje ticho.

Horáček řekl, ty Pažoute, už jsou skoro Velikonoce a my ještě nemáme ani ty pomlázky a Machovi už mají všechno vyzdobený a napečený a tak si řekli, že si to doma trochu vyzdobí. Vzali z ledničky vajíčka a že si zavěsí do okna kraslice a tak je vyfoukli a malovali a malovali a že si pověsí do okna dvě takový a dvě jiný, jako to mají u Machů, jenže pak viděli, že každý vajíčko je úplně jiný a tak si řekli, co už, a pověsili do okna jedno červený, jedno oranžový, jedno žlutý, jedno zelený, jedno modrý a jedno fialový.

Slunce už skoro zapadlo za horizont a nebe se koupalo v krvi. Muselo uplynout už několik hodin od chvíle, kdy z té prokleté vesnice utekly. Erika se bála, že je budou pronásledovat, ale to jediné, co je obklopovalo, bylo hrobové ticho, čas od času přerušované zpíváním ptáků nebo bzučením hmyzu.
"Měly bychom se utábořit," řekla Zrzka a zastavila koně, kterého ve vesnici ukradly. Zrzka koně vedla, Erika se vezla spolu s neznámým nákladem. Ještě pořád si na cestování nezvykla. Celé tělo ji bolelo a oči se jí zavíraly. I tak ale věděla, že se znovu nevyspí. Noční můry totiž neodpočívají.